In case you did not know, you are fast on the slippery slope to economic ruin if you feel compelled doing something you do not want to do, but are compelled by fear to do it. It does not matter if that fear stems from potential loss of an opportunity or your wish to avoid ruining a relationship. You did not start your business because of fear, for, you risked everything, probably leaving other opportunities with different and better rewards to pursue your business. Why then are you suddenly seized with fear of loss?
Fear is devilish emotional blackmail aimed at ensnaring you so you could deviate from your plans to focus on doing something else that may result in your ultimate failure. By Nimroth Gwetsa, 31 October 2020.
Many of us think lowly of the advice from the good ancient canon telling us that our struggle in life is not against flesh and blood, but spiritual warfare where the aim of evil forces is to steal, kill and destroy our efforts and hasten our demise. Fear is generally one such arsenal used to discourage us so we are robbed of our success. And if we had already attained it, fear aims to kill our success. And while wondering what hit us and our next move, fear is again used to destroy us permanently.
Though goodness surrounds us, we tend to play down the good old book’s declaration that success would not come by default, but through toil. We refuse to believe it, yet millennia after millennia, that good old book’s content is proving true, and so are many of its prophecies.
This explains our hardship and difficulties of attaining success. But difficulties do not mean we cannot attain success. Success often comes from toiling, sacrifice and overcoming fear.
As much as it is possible, try to always do what you love and enjoy doing because you find it fulfilling and is part of your goal to leave a lasting impression in life. But avoid doing anything out of fear, or you would not do if you had material leverage provided your avoidance in doing it is not motivated by pride, arrogance, or snobbish behaviour.
Life teaches us these lessons in our social interactions, yet we do not apply them in our business dealings. For example, if a young man pursues a young lady and the lady prefers having the man as a friend instead of a lover, we almost know what the result will be. If the man agrees to being friend-zoned, he would do it hoping to win over the lady in due course. Often, the “conversion” would not materialise resulting in the man feeling used as some sort of support and future risk management or standby failure prevention solution to the lady.
To the lady, it may not be love at first sight, for, she may be pursuing or hoping to attain success elsewhere and using the man to achieve that objective by dangling an unattainable carrot to the man. If she fails and the friend-zoned man attains some notable success, she may then accept the man. I know this is stereotyping and an exaggeration, but this scenario is not far-fetched. In which case, it illustrates the absurdity of things we know are happening in our social lives and should avoid experiencing, yet we easily accept them in our professional lives!
If friend-zoning at social level is bad, business friend-zoning is equally bad. Small businesses often fall victim to some friend-zoning and dangling of “imaginary carrot”. They often feel compelled to do favours to potential clients and doing them without charge, yet ordinarily, they would not do such without financial compensation. They do them because they do not want to ruin relationships and hope to secure future opportunities.
Be warned! Do not reduce yourself to being a beggar. Not everyone is moved by sob stories and pitifulness. Stop begging and desperation. Such acts are unattractive and repulsive to real decision-makers.
Besides, desperation and begging is akin to self-enslavement, for you will (forever) be indebted to whom you are begging and will never be free to enjoy peace until you have regained some leverage. By then it may be too late, having suffered for years as a slave.
Such relationships often breed extreme bitterness afterwards instead of blissful prosperity by parties concerned. Just avoid business friend-zoning and be decisive.
Why would anyone worthy of their salt be desperate? Did you not start your business because you saw opportunities to solve prevailing problems with your unique ways and solutions? Believe in yourself, cast your net widely, diversify and maintain confidence in your pursuit of opportunities. You will eventually succeed.
Remember, easy come, easy go. But you want sustained success lasting generations. Such success is not premised on fear, but boldness, strong beliefs in the vision, developed capabilities, and a learning, adaptive and improving culture.
Truth always prevails even if it takes years to do so. You will win, and do not relent from doing good. Be watchful against those wanting to exploit your good faith. Likewise, do not exploit the good faith of others, for you will soon be exposed and you may not have an avenue to escape to.
Be honest. Have integrity and pursue excellence. Do not have double agendas, doing so may result in loss of your possessions and having a lifetime of regrets. Do not gamble with your life, taking chances because of current conveniences and gains. Let your “Yes” be “Yes”, and “No”, “No”.
We cannot avoid truths of that good old book. We would be better of as humanity if we were to heed its teachings.
Whatever your beliefs, be willing to live with the consequences of your decisions.